The Norm Can Conform

The opinions you never asked for on the subjects you’re not bothered about.

Adventures Of A First Time Buyer – I’ve Finally Bought A Sofa

Hello again my precious dumplings. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t really have too much of an update to share with you all. The house is getting there at a snail’s pace, but it’s those dull little tasks we just have to finish up. The skirting boards in the living room have been plastered so now the living room just needs the fireplace popping into place and a lick of paint. Then Bob’s your uncle and Fanny’s your aunt.

However, more so than just having the house look finished, there’s one thing that’s still missing from my life – a sofa! I know, it’s one of the big bits but I didn’t want to order one till the living room was finished so it wouldn’t get in the way of decorating. But now that the living room is almost finished, it was time to start properly hunting.

But last Sunday marked a very exciting day. Why? Because I finally bought a sofa!

I know! I’m officially an adult, my first sofa purchase. So what did I get? Was it something minimalist? Something leather? Something timeless and tasteful? The answer is none of the above!

Of course I didn’t buy a ‘sensible’ sofa? What do you take me for, some kind of matron?! No, I bought a garish, sassy (questionable), old lady-esque sofa that made me feel like a diva in the golden age of Hollywood. Don’t believe me? Have a gander below.

bought a sofa

Now, I can’t pretend this is actually my living room because let’s face it, I’m not a bawler with big bucks. Of course, it hasn’t arrived yet because I literally only purchased it a few days ago. But boy oh boy am I excited for when it arrives.

Yes, for most of you who know me, it’s probably no real shock that I purchased this sofa. I like weird things and I love anything gaudy. I mean look, I could have taken it way overboard I could have bought something really in your face like this:

Ok, I’ll be honest, I definitely couldn’t afford this. But don’t get me wrong, what I purchased still wasn’t cheap by any stretch of the imagination. Believe me, it has set me back but I still can’t wait!

Apart from the house, the fact that I finally bought a sofa feels like the last ‘big-boy’ step in my home purchases. I’ve got a bed, fridge, washing machine and all that. But buying your first sofa really is your proper ‘adult’ decision with big money. Let’s be honest, once you’ve bought that sofa, it’s pretty much with you for life.

Now I have to be honest, finding the right sofa was an absolute chore

I’ll run the details by you as briefly as possible – I know I have a tendency to ramble when it comes to these posts. So… I’m looking to buy a sofa. I bring my mother dearest along with me for guidance. After all, she’s an adult who has previously bought sofas – that’s all the expertise I need.

But, as you can imagine, my mum and I have very different aesthetics. Now, as always ‘mother knows best’ but I don’t want a tasteful and sturdy piece of furniture that is inoffensive and can be moved from room to room depending on my changing tastes (or changing houses). I want fancy and I know that what I want is much more fabulous.

Honestly, I looked at hundreds of sofas in at least 8 different stores and still, I kept coming back to the gorgeous old lady dream sofa I saw first in the first shop I went into. No matter what people said to me or how much people tried to sway my decision, I just couldn’t stop thinking about this sofa.

So after a couple of weeks of mulling things over and looking for alternatives online, I decided that I had to have it. Honestly, I did look at other things and I did try to make it work, but my mind kept going back to the idea of me answering a spin dial phone while drinking champagne and wearing a silk nightgown on the sofa – that is the dream.

Rita Hayworth

What did I buy and where is it from?

The collection is called ‘Camille‘ and I bought my pieces from Barker and Stonehouse and honestly, the staff couldn’t have been more accommodating. The lady who helped me out (and my word did she help me out because I spent what was probably an hour debating on what colour to get).

I've finally bought a sofa
I’ve bought a sofa. The Camille Maxi Sofa and the Pouffe (with the same gold legs as the sofa) and a Snuggler seat.

But in the end, you’ve gotta go with what you love. I know this colour choice isn’t the most practical. It limits my colour palettes in the house. Cushions become a challenge to accompany (but I do get a couple of those little arsehole cushions you see in the photos).

But, of course, there were many dilemmas now I’ve bought a sofa

But I also have the dilemma about staining or spilling drinks or denim marks because it is a pale sofa and it’s velvet (orgasming just at the thought of having a velvet sofa). My mum kept telling me that if I mark or tarnish it, I’m buggered because I’m going to have that dirty sofa for many years to come.

So what do I do to protect it? Well, as it turns out, Barker and Stonehouse have a repair/cleaning service for around £199. Sounds pricey but it’s actually a great deal. This service means I can call up if ever I spill wine, curry, have a misjudged wank or get denim marks on the sofa for 5 years! Honestly, you can’t argue with that really, can you?

My only heartache is I have to now wait for it to be in my house. I have up to 12 weeks to wait which is annoying but the good news is that I will definitely get it before Christmas. Hooray! I finally bought a sofa and I’ll have a completed house by the end of the year.

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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