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Adventures Of A First Time Buyer – Bonjour My Velvet Beauty! Sofa So Good

For the past 12 weeks, I have been desperately awaiting the arrival of my lush sofa set. Now, that sounds standard for a sofa delivery, but when you’ve had no form of real furniture in the living room since getting the house 7 months ago, it feels like a lifetime.

Honestly, I thought I would be dead before it finally arrived. I was ready to start planning my voodoo curse on the Birstall branch of Barker & Stonehouse. However, I don’t have to feel like that anymore because yesterday was the day! Yes, I finally got my sofa!

Honestly, it’s felt like forever since I ordered the sofa and I started to question whether or not I had actually bought it or if they had forgotten about me. But alas, they hadn’t, I was just becoming impatient. I got the call about a week ago telling me when the delivery date would be so, of course, I had to get the room finished – there was still painting to be done.

Now, I can’t pretend I did it all myself because I absolutely didn’t. Good old mother goose came round to help – annoyingly, she turned up unannounced on a day where I was ravaged by an aggressive hangover. Still, the show must go on! Well, for everybody else, I was pretty useless as I felt I could vomit at any instant. Mum was not impressed…

But alas, the decorating had to be done and we all got stuck in. For those of you who have been here for my entire ‘Adventures Of A First Time Buyer‘ series, you will know how much I have ranted and vented about how much I hate decorating… And I’m not doing it for comedic effect. I really do hate decorating. Don’t believe me, here’s proof:

This is the face of sheer hatred – yes, I’m also in my scratty clothes to do the decorating. I had to put those Ashley Tisdale boots to good use! I don’t know what it is, but nothing fills me with so much venom than having to paint white walls whiter. Christ, it’s like I’m in prison. Thankfully, everybody got on with it better than I did.

As we had new skirting boards put in, we had to get them painted with two coats, sounds alright but each coat took 6 hours minimum to dry. Kill.Me.Now. ☠️ Like myself, I could see my Dad had zero interest in helping me decorate. I don’t blame him, we were both put on tea duties instead.

Anyway, while I left Tom and Mother Dearest to do the painting, Dad and I headed to the tip with even more shite that we found in the cellar from the previous tenants – it’s a never-ending pile of useless wank. Finally, I’d sprung into action and done something productive about getting the living room finished.

Once all this was done, all I had to do was cover up some patches and do the final coat on the skirting boards but they couldn’t be done until tomorrow at the earliest. Thankfully, I was ready to decorate… except I didn’t, in fact, I left it pretty much until the very last minute. Whenever I set aside a day or an afternoon, I would find myself doing anything other than the decorating. I just hate it so much!

But thankfully, it got finished (sort of). Do I think it’s my best work to date? Absolutely not, but once all the furniture is in, I think it will definitely look nice and homely.

The big day!

I took the day off work, eagerly awaiting the delivery men to bless me with my beautiful new addition to the home. Because the painting was so last minute, I was still rushing around trying to move furniture into other rooms so they’d be able to get the sofa straight into the living room.

Thankfully, everything got done. I was still moving things around even as the guys turned up with the sofa. I think I styled it out and made them believe I had a plan for everything.

The actual delivery took no more than 20 minutes really, they got the sofas into the house, screwed in the legs and away they were. Bish Bash Bosh. When they left, all I had to do was manoeuvre them around and I finally got my sofas!

Thanks, Barker and Stonehouse, you’ve served me well, but fuck me, I can’t believe I actually had to wait my full 12 weeks. That was the one thing that irritated me. I was told that 12 weeks would be the ‘maximium time’ and that it would most likely be done before. Nope, it was 12 weeks.

Lush isn’t it?

It feels like I’d been waiting for them for forever. However, now they’re here I feel like my house is complete. I mean, I know it’s far from it, but it’s getting there. The sofa was the last of my main pieces to get in the house, all I really have to do now is add my finishing touches and kitschy flair with some decorations and what not.

Of course, now the sofa is here, you bet your sweet ass I’ve invited every man and his dog round to come and see the sofa… except there are no pets allowed. Sorry hun.

I must sound like a freak to my friends, but I’m legit inviting people round for takeaways and movie nights just so they get to experience my sofa. I feel like the house is almost finished and it’s getting exciting now. I’ve just got to add more personal touches and artwork.

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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