The Norm Can Conform

The opinions you never asked for on the subjects you’re not bothered about.

RuPaul’s Drag Race S12 Ep1: I’m That Bitch

Here we go gays and girls, are you ready for a new season of Drag Race? Season 12 is here and each queen had a message for the world; “I’m That Bitch“. The show decided to split the group in two, much like they did in Season 6… you know, that format that everybody hated! I don’t want to wait another week to meet the whole cast, I want them now. Whenever I revisit Season 6 (and let’s be honest, I do it a lot because it was the golden era of Drag Race) I skip the first two episodes and start where all the queens are together. But enough about my ramblings, let’s meet (half of) the queens!

Entrance Looks – Toot or Boot

Let’s meet the first half of the Season 12 cast and see what they wore and then read it to filth, why? Because “I’m That Bitch“… See what I did there? Don’t worry, I’ll stop.

Brita – Toot

Brita I'm That Bitch

First up was Brita and I actually quite liked this outfit. Sure, it wasn’t groundbreaking but it was campy and fun. The big hair with the tiny headpiece that had a giant feather was great. I thoroughly enjoyed the leopard print with the pink piping details and the repugnant pink fake fox fur stole. Was it original? No, but I liked it so it scrapes a toot.

Nicky Doll – Toot

Nicky Doll I'm That Bitch

I think it was a smart move to come into the competition with a Gaultier inspired number to showcase her Parisian heritage. Straight away we got the reference. It felt quintessentially french and I loved the Louboutin shoe fascinator thing that she wore. The only thing I wasn’t keen on was her makeup. It looks nice in the photos but in the episode it made her face look quite strange – it just didn’t look like Nicky.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

Widow Von'Du I'm That Bitch

I don’t think the outfit itself was bad, there was just too much black and it made it hard to appreciate the actual design. The wig and the feathers I wasn’t keen on, to be honest. The bodysuit itself was quite beautiful in all honesty but the styling made me dislike it.

Jackie Cox – Toot

Jackie Cox I'm That Bitch

Love. It was cute, it reminded me of Minnie Mouse and little orphan Annie. I love that she put her name on her top, the drumstick sleeves and the retro hairdo – I think Jackie is going to bring us some really fun fashion retrospectives to the show.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

Heidi N Closet I'm That Bitch

Coco Montrese in pink. Octavia Spencer was serving some high-level tack in this entrance look. I hated the wings on the sleeves but I didn’t mind the headpiece. But the thing that got me the most was that the dress had a really ugly, cheap-looking zip on the front rather than a hidden zip or buttons. Oh, and basic black pumps were not the one.

Gigi Goode – Toot

Gigi Goode I'm That Bitch

Shiver me timbers! Gigi served up some serious pirattitude with her entrance look. The coat was beaut, the hat was lush with the giant feather and the fabric was lush. Is it the most exciting look in the world? No. I think this was a fun little number to reference her mum’s work as a costume designer. Nothing says theatre like the Pirates of Penzance… but in drag… and with your tuppence out.

Crystal Methyd – Boot

Crystal Methyd I'm That Bitch

I liked that she came dressed as a clown, it was a bold statement. However, I’ve seen much better versions. I thought the colours weren’t great, the fabric looked cheap and it looked more like a fancy dress costume. I know Crystal could have done a bigger, bolder clown look so this fell flat for me.

Shock Twist – that’s all we’re getting so far

Yes, in a totally original concept just like Season 6, the show is giving us a double premiere.

I understand why. It’s so we get to know more the queens a little bit more but I hate having to wait an extra week to meet the cast. Still, let’s not dwell, first the queens had to do a Spring/Summer and Fall/Winter runway show that was totally original just like that first episode challenge in Season 7.

Mini Challenge – A Unique Fashion Show

I can’t help but think the show did this in the hopes of giving the world another Violet Chachki reveal moment… let’s see how the queens do.

Spring / Summer

Brita – Boot

It’s not awful, it’s not exciting. The colour was nice but the fit seemed a little tight and overall it wasn’t anything breathtaking.

Nicky Doll – Boot

Hate. The dress itself isn’t awful, but the way it’s all put together with the cardigan thing, the wig, the shoes all make her look like ‘Auntie Carol at our Susan’s wedding’. It’s really pedestrian and overall quite ‘meh’ – I hope Nicky sorts out her makeup soon.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

Not my style, but not awful. Honestly, Widow is serving some Missy Elliot vibes. The colours are cool but a neoprene jumpsuit doesn’t bring joy to my life.

Jackie Cox – Toot

Love. The updo with the huge curled ponytail, the little lime boots, the short dress and matching purse – Jackie is perfection and certainly knows her retro fashion references.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

This was a hot mess. The fabric was vile and it reminded me of Jasmine Masters’ cocoon. Not only that, but the headpiece was like a giant spurting pink dildo. Sadly this peen seemed to go flaccid and fall off of her head.

Gigi Goode – Toot

Gigi pissed all over this challenge. The pastel outfit was cute, the cropped biker jacket looked great on her with the matching helmet and the yellow wig looked sassy. This was music-video ready and I lived for it. Who doesn’t want their name on a little belt too?

Crystal Methyd – Toot

I quite liked this. No, it wasn’t groundbreaking but it was a fun jumpsuit with a great pattern. The colours were nice and I liked that her lips and wig matched the florals of her outfit.

Fall / Winter

Brita – Boot

The silhouette was better than her S/S look but I hated the wig. It looked cheap and boxy. The dress was a better fit but the fabric choices didn’t really do it for me, it looked like a big sculpted binbag.

Nicky Doll – Toot

This was great. A true fashion look, the suiting was lush and the jacket/corset was a great detail. I thought it was a great detail to have suit sleeves detached on her arms too, a lot of people would have just had the white shirt so I thought this was a lovely touch. I also loved the headpiece, the wig and the giant monocle. This is high-fashion, this is editorial and this feels truly Parisian.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

I quite liked the colour (and that was about it). The dress looked ill-fitting and it didn’t get much better when the reveal happened. Fear not Violet, your title remains. The wig was fun but I got too distracted by the top part of the outfit which made it look like her tits were resting on her shoulders.

Jackie Cox – Toot

Perfection. The colour, the sunglasses, the trousers, the shoes. There’s nothing I need to really describe here, you’ve all got eyes.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

I hated this. The colours were gross and it looked like she was wearing a starchy old quilt.

Gigi Goode – Toot

I adored this. A blue tartan bondage jockey is everything I needed in life without knowing I needed it. Gigi has a strong eye for fashion and certainly has a creative vision for her looks. I can’t wait to see what else she’s going to bring.

Crystal Methyd – Toot

Phenomenal. I thought this was such a unique and creative idea. This high-fashion Freddy Krueger costume was brilliant. The iconic striped jumper has been turned into a patchwork dress held together with safety pins. Her purse is a trick or treating pumpkin bucket. Her hair has been made using plasters (band-aids if you’re American) to create Freddy’s scarred look and I just thought it was spectacular. Honestly, bravo Crystal!

I'm That Bitch – Crystal Methyd Freddy Krueger

The Maxi Challenge – I’m That Bitch

No pressure or anything, but this week the queens had to create their own rap verse and perform as a group. The track in question is called ‘I’m That Bitch‘ and the judges want each verse to tell the judges a little bit about the queens.

To add an extra element of drama to the mix, the queens would be performing in front of rap royalty – Nicki Minaj. Bloody Norah, they’re not playing about, are they?

I’m going to be quite brief with the details as the show seemed to skip over it fairly quickly too. Widow and Heidi were nominated/volunteered to choreograph the routine and naturally, tensions were a little high. People chimed in with their opinions (fairly, I thought) and Widow wasn’t happy with it. I have a feeling she’s going to be a bit of a confrontational character.

Also, the show spent about 2 minutes focussing on girls writing their lyrics – we didn’t even get to see them record them. I get that they can’t do too much in one go, but I’d have rather have seen the buildup over an elongated session of the judges’ critiques.

The Performance – I’m That Bitch

“So what did I think of the song?” I hear you all asking with bated breath. Well, here was my reaction:

I have to be honest, I hated this song. I found it so draining, the beat was an absolute headache and it didn’t excite me. That doesn’t mean that some of the verses weren’t good, oh no – some were rather good. Let me quickly share my thoughts:

Brita

Brita I'm That Bitch

She looked a bit odd during this challenge. Her mouth was too exaggerated and it looked like she was trying to stop her dentures from falling out. Brita also looked like her wig was slipping off and her eyelashes were drooping. It wasn’t a strong moment for her. I think she also forgot half of her own verse at one point because she was not in sync with the track. She had sass in her verse so I’ll give her props for that.

Crystal Methyd

Fun outfit, boring verse. Also, her hip pads are halfway down her thighs – she looks like a chicken drumstick. There wasn’t much too memorable with her rap, it was quite limited but hey, she had nice shoes.

Gigi Goode

I won’t say it was bad, but I would say it was only Gigi Goode – see what I did there? This little twig had a great outfit, served sass in her performance and had an alright verse.

Heidi N Closet

Hated the hair and makeup, liked the outfit, loved the performance, wasn’t fussed about the verse. She can bust a move though so it’ll be exciting to see if/when she lipsyncs.

Jackie Cox

Jackie Cox I'm That Bitch

Love. She was funny, witty, had some cheeky little moves and a great verse. So far, Jackie is my one to watch in the competition.

Nicky Doll

I think it’s fair to say she’s more of a ‘look queen’ than a performer. She looked quite uncomfortable and unsure of herself during this performance. She redeemed herself a little bit when it got to her verse but still not great. Also, why was she the only one that sounded like her verse was recorded under a sink?! Did somebody get an autotuned verse? Oh, and I didn’t like the wig.

Widow Von’Du

Slayed it. The verse was great, the wig and makeup were lush, the outfit was fun. The splits, the bends and all of it was perfection. Well done Widow.

Also, I’ve never seen that crab move where she carries on singing while pointing with one hand – that was genius and a nice change from a shitty old death drop.

Overall I would say it was a shit song but a relatively good effort from all the queens.

Category is: Sparkle

It’s time for the runway and this week the girls were asked to shine bright in their sparkliest attire.

Brita – Boot

I hate this. It looks so cheap and basic and it reminds me of the equally dreadful (and very similarly shaped) outfit that Alexis Michelle wore for the pride flag part of the ‘Gayest Ball Ever’ challenge.

Crystal Methyd – Toot

Okay, so it’s kind of basic as a costume but I thought the look was fun. I loved the red boots and her bejewelled wig. Crystal definitely reminded me of HIM from Powerpuff Girls and I’m here for that.

Gigi Goode – Toot

Gigi is a fashionista and I love that she came out wearing one of Christian Cowan’s sparkling tuxedos. The mint green worked beautifully with the black latex and the helmet was a fun twist on the formal attire. Gigi’s whole look felt really modern and really editorial.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

I'm That Bitch Heidi N Closet

This was dog shit rough. There’s nothing else to say really, but go on then, I’ll elaborate: the wig was slipping back and you could see her boy hair, the headband looked cheap and the dress looked frumpy and ill-fitting. I honestly couldn’t find a single redeeming feature of this look. Nicki Minaj was right, the makeup was terrible.

Jackie Cox – Toot

LOVE IT! I’m so excited that Jackie is serving up these beautiful vintage-inspired outfits. The big 60’s ratted hair, the sheer gown and all the jewels makes for one perfected look. I will let the beard slip for this first episode (seeing as Michelle called it out) and let’s see if that improves – a lot can be forgiven when the outfit is brilliant.

Nicky Doll – Boot

This looks like Sarah Harding after the breakup of Girls Aloud – when she got all cocaine-fuelled and toured as a soloist (but just sang her parts of the Girls Aloud songs). To put it bluntly, this was a leotard with a big collar and nothing much else. But I did like her wig.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

This outfit was gross. Why has she added so many different elements to it – she looks like a big baked potato. The fabric was a miss, the giant earrings were unnecessary and the under-attire was also gross and cheap-looking. The wig was fine and the makeup was relatively pleasant but the look was a miss and felt like an attempt to dress as Nicki for bonus points.

The results

Trick alert, there were no queens going home. Instead, the top 2 queens battled it out, All Stars style, to win a cash tip of $5000. Not too shabby if you ask me. The top 2 this week were Gigi and Widow and I’d say that was fair enough. Gigi brought great looks and gave a great performance. Widow destroyed the main challenge, everything is good.

Other memorable moments, erm… Heidi cried about her stress from the night before and going to A&E and everybody acted shocked. She didn’t have two legs drop off, it was a strong rash – yes its uncomfortable but it wouldn’t have affected her performance so let’s not hype it too much.

What else, oh yeah, I think Gigi is an absolute snack! But I’m sure I’ve already said that – her eyes are huge!

I also want to give props to Nicki Minaj who really committed to the judging role. She gave every girl critiques on their rap, got stuck in with the deliberations and even demonstrated her own verse. I’m not much of a Nicki fan but I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed her judging and I think she did a great job.

The Lipsync

I thought both queens did an alright job. I loved Gigi’s little dance moves, the twinkle twinkle bit made me laugh. Widow was strong but a bit sloppy in my opinion. I also think she used up all of her dance moves too soon in the competition. Or maybe I’m that bitch that thinks I’m right – probably.

Still, Widow won (but it honestly could have been either, I liked Gigi’s personally) and that was the end of the episode, hooray! Now let’s meet those other queens! Once they’re all merged, I feel like the show will properly begin.

How has that affected the scores?

I'm That Bitch chosen queens

Not the best season opener but it wasn’t awful. I think we’ve got a really good mix of queens and once they merge with the others, all should be fun.

Winner: Widow Von’Du – 5 Points
Top: Gigi Goode – 3 Points
Safe: Brita, Crystal, Heidi, Jackie, Nicky – 1 Point

Out of our league, Tom had more queens in the challenge this week so he was at a great advantage on points – but that should hopefully balance out again next week for me. Tom walked away with 6 points and I ended with 2 points. Widow as a lone contender has 5 points.

episode 1 I'm That Bitch result

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top