The Norm Can Conform

The opinions you never asked for on the subjects you’re not bothered about.

New Year New Me – Some Mildly Useful Life Advice For 2019

Happy New Year folks! Well, 2018 has been a wild ride, I’ve had a lot of ups, I’ve had a few downs but now we’re on to the next chapter. “New Year, New Me” and all that bollocks.

I know it sounds cliche to say, but I feel like I’ve learnt a lot this year and I have a lot more things that I hope to accomplish in 2019. But for now, I’m just dicking about with a hangover, remember last night’s fireworks but being too scared to look at them because of Bird Box.

Firstly, I’m kicking off 2019 with a new job!

Though I enjoyed my time at Happiest and it taught me a lot, I felt it was time to go after a year and a half. I’ve had a lot of fun at this job, in fact, just a few months into starting there, we achieved a target we thought wouldn’t have happened for at least a year at the company and as a reward, we set out on an adventure to Mykonos!

But at the back end of November, I knew it was my time to go and so I handed in my notice. When the perfect job for me had a vacancy, I knew I couldn’t miss it. I sent in my application, made it through the numerous interview stages and got the job! I will go into more details of my new venture at a later date. But for now, thanks Happiest, all the best and I bid thee farewell.

I bought my first house

Earlier this year, I finally became a stress-filled adult. I signed on the dotted line and collected the keys for my first house. Words cannot describe how much of a game changer this has been for me and it really has been one of my all time highlights of 2018.

Walking into my new house for the first time – it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows

As I’m sure most of you know, decorating and renovating my house wasn’t an easy task. Thank you to all of you who have followed my ‘Adventures Of A First Time Buyer‘ throughout the year – I promise the adventures don’t stop there, more rants, rambles and strange interiors to come.

This year, I also started getting back into blogging after a huge hiatus

It’s felt really rewarding to start writing articles again and having people read them. Honestly, I have to again thank Happiest for that for getting me back into writing articles. But unlike before, I’ve started to put more of my personality back into my articles and it seems to be getting well received.

Not only have I been getting back into the blogging, but I’ve been going to more events because of it and I’ve met some truly incredible people along the way. Don’t get me wrong, with more events comes more articles to write and less time to relax but hey, who’s really going to turn down free drinks and goodie bags at some truly awesome places? Not I people, not I.

But it’s not been an easy year by any stretch

I found myself losing motivation, doubting myself, gaining weight and feeling like I was starting to lose my passions. I watched my friends do exciting things, I saw people start to get their shit together and I felt like I was stuck in a monumental rut. Not only that but trying to become a functioning adult with a mortgage and bill payments also stressed me out to start.

In February, I lost one of my best friends. Lesley has been a part of my life since I was a baby and I’ve considered her to be a second mum for many years now. Sadly people pass, that’s a part of life, but fuck me, I honestly never thought it would happen, she’s one of those people that I just assumed would be invincible and live forever.

Later in the year another close friend, Jo, lost her battle with cancer. Honestly, I still can’t believe it. Having to say your last goodbye to somebody at the age of 25 was something I never thought I’d have to do in life. And it was horrible for everyone, not just me. She was a real hoot on a night out and a real asset to our friendship group and it still doesn’t feel real that she’s gone.

My advice for 2019

1. If you’re unhappy, change it
This year has had a lot of ups and downs, but as I said, if you’re not happy with something, change it. Whether that be making new friends, finding a new job or taking up a new hobby. Only you can make those changes.

2. Don’t procrastinate
Believe me, I’m one of the worst people at doing this. I come home from a tough day and rather than being productive, I go on the PlayStation or I binge a series on Netflix. Downtime isn’t a bad thing, but don’t waste opportunities to do something meaningful with your time. Write a blog, take up a hobby or just spend time catching up with friends.  

3. Get creative
I cannot stress this one enough, try and do fun new things each day. This is my one big regret of 2018. I kept saying that I wanted to take more photos last year and do more projects for myself but I never got round to it. And that is the worst, ‘never getting round to it’ is one of the biggest let downs and I did it far too much last year.

4. Don’t be scared to wear your best clobber
As wankish as it sounds, throughout my life, I’ve had friends that can’t help but comment on whether or not they like my new hairstyle or they’re willing to slag off my clothes. For a while, it made me feel really shitty about myself. But now I realise that in reality, people will say things to put you down to try and make themselves feel better. Believe me, I’d much rather wear my “weird clothes” than own a fragment of their dull wardrobe. Believe me, you don’t need that negativity in your life, put on your best dancing shoes for work and wear your finest frock to the supermarket. Don’t let others make you doubt your own taste and style.

5. Be more of a ‘yes’ man
Your friends have invited you to a party, say yes. Somebody asks if you want to join a new hobby/sports club, say yes. Don’t be afraid to try new things in life. There are plenty of things that we doubt ourselves or question whether we’ll enjoy them – you’ll never know unless you give it a go.

6. Stop being a chubby fucker
2018 was not a productive year for dieting. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and a big part of that was that I felt like I was losing myself this year. I want to try and get back into shape. Eat better, tone up and shed the weight from my gunt.

7. Make every day count
You never know when it’s going to be your last so you’ve got to make sure you every day is worth while. If you feel like you have a day of nothingness ahead, go on an adventure! What’s the worst thing that could happen?

8. Cut out the toxic people in your life
I spent a lot of time hanging out with toxic people that dragged me down, slowly I’ve managed to filter those people out of my life. Sure, it’s not easy, but it certainly will help.

9. Don’t dwell on your mistakes
You can’t turn back time, trust me, Cher wrote a whole song about wishing she could. So try not to dwell on all the things that happened (or will happen). We’re human, we make decisions and then immediately regret them. I know I have in 2018 and most likely I will do it again in 2019. However, I’m hoping this year I will be able to move forward without that horrible regretful feeling.

10. Be more positive
Smile more, chat to your friends, go on new adventures and buy things you want, you don’t have to spend your whole life-saving money – treat yourself. People will anger you, move on as best as you can. Holding onto anger can be fun when you want to rant, but it will build up like a poison on your soul. Deep, I know right?

Happy 2019 poppets. May this year be your year. And remember, I’m not a qualified therapist – my advice could be utter shit. So if in doubt, follow your own path and listen to your heart.

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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