The Norm Can Conform

The opinions you never asked for on the subjects you’re not bothered about.

White Choc Coco Pops – My Childhood Dreams Have Become A Reality

Once upon a time, I was a young, impressionable little boy with big dreams and high hopes, I never thought it would be possible that the world would bless us with white chocolate Coco Pops… but those days are over. We don’t need to be dreamers anymore, we’ve put a man on the moon, created a cordless vacuum cleaner and made mobile phones a reality. But a new dawn is upon us. A chance for us to finally create peace around the world. Why? For the first time in Coco Pops’ 59 years, they have finally made a white chocolate version!

This isn’t an internet hoax, white chocolate Coco Pops are very, very real! My attention was first caught when I spotted an advertisement for the new cereal online.

Honestly, I don’t ever remember Coco the monkey being this terrifying, but that’s beside the point. In the advert we see the vexed and perplexed monkey looking into his chocolatey river to notice there’s some sort of pollution at hand. But what could be causing it? Some pearlescent narwhal is the culprit and bless her heart for doing it!

After seeing the box, I knew I had to have some. I did some Googling and found that ASDA were stocking them and so I ventured down the road to pick up a box eagerly like that little fat kid hunting after a golden ticket in Willy Wonka.

I got to ASDA and they weren’t there. All the other boxes of Coco Pops were but no white chocolate ones… had I been duped? I’d wasted a journey on these mythical little cereals.

But then I saw it… hiding away with just a faint glow in the distance was the golden light I needed. I spotted the packaging hiding behind a saran warp forcefield. With all my might, I punctured through and grabbed a couple of boxes and I was on my way.

Tears now streaming down my face with sheer relief – I would finally be living the dream, if only 6-year-old Harry could see me now, he would be beaming from ear to ear with pride.

A lot of people online have likened the cereals to Rice Krispies for their lack of chocolate colour. However, these people hadn’t actually tried the cereal. Like all fads and trends, things get hyped before they’ve been experienced – think of all the complaints the Russell Brand / Jonathan Ross voicemail scandal got and barely anybody listened to the broadcast. Yes, that is me likening a new flavour of cereal to two comedians talking about shagging Manuel from Fawlty Towers’ granddaughter.

Guess what? I tried them and I thought they were bloody lush – far superior to their milk chocolate counterparts. And the white choc cereal has the added bonus of being 30% less sugar – so chubby little me can enjoy even more bowls of goodness. Now I’ve just got to make more room for milk in the fridge.

And for only £2 a box (which allegedly serves 16), I’m going to stock up my house like I’m preparing for the apocalypse. Finally a use for my empty cellar!

The Verdict

I honestly loved them, they tasted great, they made a refreshing change. Go and buy yourself a box and live the childhood fantasy you always dreamed of… although I could have done without the terrifying pearlescent narwhal.

What a time to be alive!

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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