The Norm Can Conform

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RuPaul’s Drag Race S12 Ep7: Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical

The Snatch Game is over and now it’s time for the next challenge. We’ve seen sewing, we’ve done acting and we’ve had the impressions and a terrible improv challenge but now it’s time for a musical. More specifically; Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical!

But before we get into it, let’s talk about the start of the episode. Brita sent home Aiden which you can tell she was thrilled about but then acted all gutted and like she had to say bye to her best pal.

How Brita acted:

How Brita felt:

This couldn’t have been more false and I’m glad Widow addressed it in her confessional but I wish she did it in the werkroom. Widow and Jackie also had some beef about how Widow’s Snatch Game performance went.

Widow said she can’t wait for a queen to fall on their ass in another challenge so she can feel smug – bit awks to be honest. But that wasn’t all. Heidi also called out Gigi for saying her makeup was shit. Gigi wasn’t having it and was quick to tell Heidi why she said it and that she has no time for excuses. Could Gigi’s niceness be fading slightly?

The Mini Challenge… where has she gone?

There didn’t appear to be a mini-challenge this week. Could this be because they couldn’t think of anything? Who knows – it seemed a bit odd not to have a mini-challenge to let a queen be in charge of casting. Instead the queens had to choose as a group.

The Maxi Challenge – Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical

The queens had to sing, dance, and perform their way through a Madonna rusical. Jackie isn’t a dancer and so she was a little worried and Widow was thriving on Jackie’s disadvantage.

Jan could not wait for this challenge. She can sing, dance, and act so this was right up her street!

The Rehearsals – Singing

Jan was first to sing in front of Michelle and she did a phenomenal job setting the scene. Honestly, Jan did great. Jaida isn’t a singer so a spoken word vibe was decided and she had to sell sex which see seemed to struggle with. Jaida is a sexy queen but for some reason she couldn’t initially find that sexy aura.

Jackie struggled with her verse. The music seemed to be quite high for Jackie’s voice and like Jaida, selling sex seemed to be tough. Again, Widow was living for this – shady queen. And, of course, Jan was quick to point out that there weren’t many singers in the group.

Heidi wasn’t really killing it, Widow was flat and Crystal was something next level but yet it melted my heart. Crystal’s terrible vocals genuinely made me laugh – not at her but with her. Those were some unheard notes!

Brita can sing a bit as she’d studied it and whatnot. She has the Express Yourself verse and she didn’t seem to nail it as much as she should but the low notes were pretty fun.

Then there was Gigi. My god she struggled through this. She was shaking like a shitting dog during rehearsals. It’s crazy because she’s been so confident up until this point. This looks like her first sign of weakness in the competition.

The Rehearsals – Dancing

Widow loves telling everyone she’s a dancer but she came straight out with defeatism and excuses for her knee. She mentioned she hurt her knee in the first episode… we’re on episode 7 now and she’s not mentioned her knee up until this point.

No surprises, Jan smashed the dance rehearsals. Then Jackie followed and it was like two extremes. Jackie really struggled to sell the sexy dance moves and I felt a bit sorry for her – it’s clearly not her comfort zone.

Gigi also struggled with the dancing – we know she can boogie so this was awkward. Heidi did alright. Brita… didn’t. She fought Gigi for this role and I don’t think she was quite serving it. Then there were the others – it wasn’t memorable enough to warrant mentioning.

You may have also noticed that we haven’t seen anything of Sherry this episode. So who knows what she’s doing or how her rehearsals went. 🤷🏻‍♂️ I know people want to forget she doesn’t exist but I would have liked the show to have left Sherry in and stopped trying to cut her out.

Madonna: The Unauthorized Rusical – The Performance

I’m going to quickly break down the queens’ performances. You’ve seen the performance, I don’t need to go into step-by-step details. Firstly, I think it was a pretty good rusical. I can’t tell if I preferred it to the Cher one but I know for sure that I preferred it to Trump: The Rusical.

Jan’s verse has genuinely been stuck in my head since the episode aired though so that’s a good thing. I only remember Jan and Crystal’s verses – I honestly couldn’t sing you a single line from any of the other queens’ performances.

Also, Ru’s hair and makeup looked stunning this week. I just had to give it a quick shoutout.

Jan – Toot

FUCKING SMASHED IT! Honestly, it pissed me off that she didn’t win. She got the most boring Madonna era and she still killed it.

That’s why it annoyed me that Gigi won because she had the most iconic look and she did a back walkover.

Her verse was killer, the dance was excellent and the look was right. Jan smashed this challenge and I applaud her for it. This was my face watching Jan:

Jackie Cox – Boot

Bit awks – it didn’t really do anything for me. You could see her struggling through this challenge.

The outfit was right but the performance fell flat.

Gigi Goode – Toot

The vocals were pretty poo. She had good facial expressions and sold the sass so I will credit her for that. The backflip was also unexpected and pretty great.

The outfit was very Sandy from Grease and the wig was honestly repulsive. Of course the makeup was good – she’s a pretty twink.

Now I’m only hating because she won – she did a good job but what the fuck. How did she win this week?! RIGGA MORRIS!

Brita – Boot

Express Yourself is an anthem and the verse felt really flat. I know that’s not really her fault – she didn’t produce the music. The dance was also quite sloppy.

The low notes were funny but her facial expression was quite unsure and boring in my opinion. The outfit was also a bit fancy dress shop.

Jaida Essence Hall – Toot

This was pure sex. She actually managed to turn it out after the rehearsals.

Jaida looked stunning – the makeup and hair were beautiful but the lingerie was a bit boring personally. I wish it was more erotic. But this really did feel like a burlesque music video from the ’90s.

Sherry Pie – Boot

The acting era of Madonna was done fittingly by Sherry. She came out in an Evita outfit but she didn’t fully give me Madonna – it was pretty much just Sherry.

I also noticed she didn’t have the gap in her tooth and I wish she did. Although I did quite enjoy her verse – it felt like a nice gap between the next crazy verse.

Crystal Methyd – Toot

This made me howl. I love that Crystal just fully threw herself into this ‘Ray of Light’ era of Madonna. The hairography was brilliant and the dead vocals with the high energy had me howling. This verse could not have been more perfect for Crystal. I would say that after Jan, Crystal was my favourite.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

This didn’t do anything for me. The outfit was a bit bland but I understood the era. I just wish the cowboy hat fit over the wig and didn’t look like a tiny headpiece stuck wobbling on her head. The cartwheel was good though. The vocals were weak and the actual verse was a bit boring. But her makeup looked great.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

I felt a bit bad for Heidi because it wasn’t that good but this was the least Madonna era of Madonna’s career so she couldn’t really do much with it. I could only hear Heidi’s southern accent throughout the verse so I suppose that was a bit meh.

Then there was a little wrap-up with all the queens and that was quite funny to reference the Vogue dance moves.

You could see a few queens struggle to keep up in this part. Gigi was a bit out of time as was Jaida from what I first noticed. Jan was polished throughout – as you can tell, I’m still mad!

Category is: Night of A Thousand Michelle Visages

I love it when the queens are given recreation runway themes. The Madonna theme was fun (even if there was a kimono drama), we’ve seen RuPaul, Lady Gaga and now Michelle Visage is getting the treatment. I was really hoping to see the whore-iest, trashiest, most Jersey outfits imaginable.

To be clear, I’m tooting and booting how good the outfits are this week. It’s a Michelle Visage runway so a lot of these outfits are bound to be repugnant. But I’m tooting the accuracy of the attire and not whether I actually like them as an outfit (because big tits and a corset isn’t really my thing). 😂

Jan – Toot

Jan smashed it. She had the tits, the makeup, and the wig. The little flight-attendant hat and the cardigan dress was perfect. This was such a great Michelle resemblance and I liked that she picked a Drag Race outfit for the runway. Remember the good old days when Michelle used to dress up and have a laugh on the show? Now she has a heart of stone and a smile is a mile away.

Jackie Cox – Toot

This is what I wanted to see! Jackie knew her references from head to toe. She even matched her nail art! This is the glorious bimbo Michelle era that we love dearly. It’s weird because I’m tooting how good the outfit is but it’s actually vile – and that’s the point because the accuracy is unreal.

Gigi Goode – Boot

I really enjoyed the fact that Gigi went for the early years blonde Michelle era. Now, I knew this song way before I knew who Michelle Visage was (or even before Drag Race first aired). This is one of my favourite songs of all time and I was so excited to see Gigi reference it.

However, I think Gigi actually did a pretty bland job. Why didn’t she do the floral headpiece look?! She came out in a poorly made bikini with a blonde wig and that was about it. The long nails were a great touch and she looked pretty – but Courtney Act looked pretty in a bikini and she kept getting read for it. I wouldn’t have minded as much if the bikini looked good, but it looked cheap and ill-fitting.

Brita – Boot

I knew which look Brita was doing straight away. It doesn’t mean I like it though. Her hips and waist look perfectly shaped but the dress looks a bit basic. Normally I think the judges nitpick certain visuals to help with the narrative the show wants to make. But I did actually agree that Brita should have had the correct earrings on based on the fact that the rest of the outfit is quite plain. I wasn’t crazy about the hair either.

Jaida Essence Hall – Toot

This was a great referential look – right down to the star tattoo under the tits. It’s an obvious Michelle Visage look but it’s because it’s an iconic Visage look – just check the necklace. If you were going to do a Michelle Visage Halloween costume – this would be the store-bought Party City costume.

Sherry Pie – Toot

Sherry was smart with this outfit. She picked a Drag Race look that nobody would have thought of and she kept her campness attached to it. That big monstrosity outfit from the All Stars 3 reunion was a smart choice for Sherry. I enjoyed that she kept doing the weird wiggle dance down the runway and throwing oversized pairs of glasses left, right, and center.

Crystal Methyd – Toot

I loved this outfit and Crystal looked stunning. It’s probably the least-Michelle look of the group – but not because it was bad, but because it was an era that a lot of people don’t recognise. The coat was amazing, her makeup was great and the overall vibe was well executed. She reminds me of HIM from Powerpuff Girls.

Widow Von’Du – Boot

I liked the reference Widow went with but I wasn’t crazy about the execution. The shoes were something a librarian would work in. The top was a big ‘fancy dress’ and the pants should have flared all the way down to the floor. Widow is a bigger girl so she should have emphasised her look and made the wig super long, the pants extra flared, and done a caricature of the source material.

Heidi N Closet – Boot

I really didn’t enjoy this. There was no Michelle in her look. The big hairball thing would have worked if she went over the top with the makeup and turned her into a caricature but she didn’t. The dress was gross and the cape was too plain for my liking.

The Results

Who was going to win? Who was going to win? Surely Jan, right? She killed it in the challenge, she had the best vocals, the most remembered/iconic verse and had a phenomenal runway look! “Gigi, you’re the winner”… The face that defined this season of Drag Race:

Gigi did alright, the look in the challenge was good but that’s because it’s one of Madonna’s most iconic looks. The wig was awful if I’m honest and you could see and hear the fear in her performance.

I honestly think Jan was robbed this week and it actually really annoyed me. This is the second time I think she should have won the challenge (the first being the “You Don’t Know Me” performance). #JusticeForJan

In fact, I also think Crystal did a great job this week and could have potentially been the winner (if not Jan).

The bottom 3 queens were Jackie, Heidi, and Brita. Brita didn’t do a great job. Jackie was a bit lackluster and Heidi was told that she showed no Madonna. The era she was given was a Madonna era where Madonna wasn’t even trying to be Madonna so it was a bit harsh. I think those three were somewhat deserved to be the bottom this week. But in the end it was Brita and Heidi that was left to lipsync and I think that was fair.

The Lipsync – Burning Up by Madonna

Brita vs Heidi N Closet lip sync Madonna Burning Up

It was an alright lipsync. Heidi did do better but I wasn’t wowed. I think Brita had been in the bottom enough times to not justify a save. But yeah, Heidi won, Brita was gone and that was the end of that.

How has that affected the scores?

Winner: Gigi Goode – 5 Points
Top: Crystal, Jan– 3 Points
Safe: Widow, Sherry, Jaida – 1 Point
Bottom: Jackie Cox – 0 Points
Lipsync: – Heidi N Closet -1 Point
Eliminated: – Brita -3 Points

This episode left me with 5 points taking my total to 47 points. Tom only gained 4 points as he had 2 queens in the bottom. This took his total to 32 points. But will he catch up? Only time will tell.

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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