The Norm Can Conform

The opinions you never asked for on the subjects you’re not bothered about.

RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 5 Episode 2: I’m In Love!

The queens discussed the gaggery of the first episode and all the queens chose Derrick to leave apart from one… Jujubee. Mayhem was gagged and I stand by Jujubee’s reason. She said she found Derrick’s performance more entertaining – fair enough. Either way, I’m in love!

I have to be honest, I’m still undecided about the new voting system but I think it’s a fun idea. The old system meant that queens fought to stay out of the bottom to eliminate the competition – now an anonymous gang mentality can happen… and I’m not mad about that. 💁🏻‍♀️ After discussing the outcome, Miz Cracker spoke up and said she felt that Ongina should have been in the bottom (which I kind of agree with). Gag!

Cracker felt that Ongina didn’t believe in herself and that doesn’t make her an All-Star. I felt it was a bit rich when she kicked off at Asia when she said that she didn’t see a star in Cracker.

On a side note, does anybody else think Ongina looks like Wallace from Wallace & Gromit (British reference) in the confessionals when she smiles?

The Maxi Challenge – I’m In Love!

This week the queens had to perform a musical love letter to their crushes. They had to work in trios, choreograph and write verses to a song called (Quelle surprise) I’m In Love! Who would they all pick? Who would I pick? Maybe Harry Styles, maybe Norris from Coronation Street. 🤔

The queens all chose a celebrity to base their verses on. They were split into 3 teams and they had to choreograph their sections, do their verses and perform for the judges. You know the drill by now.

I’m In Love! – The Performance

I’ll be tooting and booting the queens’ overall performances in the I’m In Love! challenge.

Alexis Mateo / Daddy Yankee – Toot

Alexis delivered all her usually high-energy campness into her verse. It was fun, sassy and her lyrics were almost inaudible. I think it was a great opening to the show.

Jujubee / John Stamos – Toot

The verse was pretty basic but she delivered it with charisma and sass. It just scraped a toot in my opinion.

India Ferrah / Justin Timberlake – Boot

It was just a bit meh. I think she tried to deliver levels to her performance but India’s verse wasn’t particularly exciting.

Miz Cracker / Sylvester Stallone – Toot

Great performance, great lyrics. She had so many Rocky puns in here and there was nothing I could really fault about it.

Mayhem Miller / Mr. Rogers – Boot

I thought her choice of character was brilliant, however, I don’t think it was the most lyrically thrilling. She did okay, but she didn’t do great.

Blair St. Clair / Hannibal Lecter – Toot

I thought this was quite clever and the references were fun. But can we take a second to talk about the fact Blair kept making jokes about being a snack to eat up when she’s probably 6 stone dripping wet. What snack are you Blair? A Twiglet?!

Ongina / Henry Cavill – Boot

Do I really need to describe it? This was weak. She sounded unsure of herself, she looked unsure of herself and her shorts looked like they were also trying to escape from the performance. This was by far the worst performance of the bunch.

Mariah Balenciaga / Jason Momoa – Boot

Also not great. 🤷🏻‍♂️ She looked pretty, sure, but it was pretty bland, wasn’t it?

Shea Couleé / Chadwick Boseman – Toot

Slay. Right, so Shea didn’t dick about and I can’t help but feel that it was a deliberate choice to leave her verse til last to let the song end on a high. I think her lyrics were great, she had great rhythm and she looked sassy as fuck. Shea did a great job this week – definitely the best of the bunch.

Category is: Love The Skin You’re In – Toot or Boot

Ongina – Toot

I don’t know if it was deliberate, but Ongina literally looks like a lone egg in a bird’s nest and I’m here for it! The dress shape reminded me of ‘My Fair Lady’ but mixed with some sort of weird tribal vibe.

Blair St. Clair – Toot

Okay, so I really like this look – however, does it really fit the theme? Probably not. The amount of people I’ve seen saying “latex is a second skin so maybe that’s the reference..?” I would have maybe accepted that if the outfit wasn’t as blousy as a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again. Overall though, the look is great, the wig is a great contrast and I love the silhouette of the outfit.

Alexis Mateo – Toot

I know that Alexis is a pageant queen and has an old-school look. However, I think this was stunning. The fabric choice elevated the look from being a dated pageant gown into a super chic look.

Miz Cracker – Boot

Who is that child peaking up from behind a sneeze guard? Whoever it is, she gets a boot from me.

Mayhem Miller – Boot

We saw Brita butcher this look and now we’ve got Mayhem giving it a whirl. Don’t get me wrong, she did a lot better, but if you’re going to recreate an iconic piece of fashion (especially by Mugler), you’ve gotta make sure that shit is spectacular and sadly, this wasn’t.

India Ferrah – Boot

I have to be honest, this is that old-school dated drag look that I’m not fussed about. However, I do think the outfit well-executed and it has a nice message – it’s just not for me.

Mariah Paris Balenciaga – Toot

Speaking of old-school drag, this one I actually like. Mariah is a natural when it comes to looking stunning, we all know that. This is pure pageantry at its finest. There’s nothing much more for me to say really.

Shea Couleé – Toot

Honestly, I’m in love with this look. It was chic, editorial, and sheer beauty. This rhinestoned nude-illusion was excellent, the small afro was great and the tribal makeup was beautiful.

Jujubee – Toot

Pretty as a peach. The dress fits her like a glove, the trumpet silhouette is beautiful at the bottom and her wig is towered high and fun. Good job you absolute glamourpuss.

The Results

No surprises really, Shea won this weeks challenge. The bottom 3 this week were; Ongina, India Ferrah, and Mariah Balenciaga. I think the bottom 3 was justified this week. I would have to say that Ongina was by far the weakest in the challenge (and the ill-fitting shorts she wore didn’t really help her either). But the other 2 deserved to be in the bottom 3 as well.

The Lipsync: Neutron Dance by The Pointer Sisters

Lipsync Assassin: Alyssa Edwards

I was excited to see Alyssa come back and slay but… well… she was shit. People are speculating that she “threw the lipsync” and all that but I saw her perform in my hometown a couple of years ago and she just talked. She didn’t do a single dance for 2 whole hours. When we eventually thought she was going to dance, she just pulled up two gays from the crowd and made them dance instead. I think Alyssa is getting old. Still, Shea did a great job in the lipsync so let’s not tarnish that.

After winning, Shea walked away with $20,000 (what Bebe won for the first season) and she chose to eliminate Ongina.

How has that affected the scores?

Beat the Assassin: Shea Couleé – 1 Bonus Point
Winner: Shea Couleé – 5 Points

Top: Jujubee, Blair St. Clair – 3 Points
Safe: Alexis Mateo, Miz Cracker, Mayhem Miller – 1 Point
Bottom: India Ferrah, Mariah Paris Balenciaga – -1 Point 

Eliminated: Ongina – -3 Points

I definitely feel like tensions are going to start brewing. It’s a shame to see Ongina go so soon but let’s be honest, she didn’t really bring anything to the competition. I had a great week and ended with 11 points. Tom… not so much. He ended the episode with -1 point. That takes my total to 16 points and Tom has been left behind with 5 points. But hey, it could all change by next week!

Harry J Bartlett

Digital Content Creator, lover of fashion, drag queen connoisseur and all around phenomenal human being. If I had to describe myself in 3 words I would say; Gorgeous, Talented and Humble.

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